I'm Alive Just To Say: I Love You To Death

Yup, this one is alllllll about Alex.

So the love of my life gets here in just under a week and I could not be more excited about it. Idk if I will get it all written down, words can't really express how ecstatic I am about this. And the gushing begins...

I have not seen Alex in 7 months.....7 months! That's far too long.

I have been having dreams about his visit for weeks now. The best part about them is that as soon as i wake up and think about how nice it was, I realize that him being here will far exceed anything I could dream up. That is the best feeling I can possibly have without being in his presence.

He is undoubtedly the best thing to ever happen to me.

I know a lot of people say that God or religion is the best thing to ever happen to them. Don't get me wrong, that's a huge part of my life and extremely important to me. But I have always had that and always will. Its immeasurably important to me.....But Alex I have lived without and have the possibility of losing in a variety of ways. Alex was given to me by God. I guess I should take that statement back then...Alex is undoubtedly the best thing that I have ever been given on this Earth. Better for everyone? :P

Back to Alex and how amazing he is. He really is amazing.

It's hard for me to think that we have 'officially' been together for only two years. It seems like so much longer. In a good way though. I think the fact that we spend so much time apart plays into it a lot. Plus we have been together unofficially for 3 years. Sooo that plays into it as well. It's kindof a depressing thought to know that we still have 2 more years left to be apart. 2 years being away from the one you love is hard. The next 2 will be just as bad, I expect. I am hoping that school distracts both of us enough that it goes by fast. Nothing could make it come fast enough, but a distraction to pass the time will have to do.

I know we can make it through, I have no doubts about that at all. I just hate being away from him. I literally am more relaxed and happy when he is here. He makes me feel safe and loved and important and.....like I am exactly where I am meant to be. When he is away I do not quite feel satisfied or comfortable. In fact, I am rather anxious, bored, and in a state of constant longing and heartache. Its not that I don't enjoy things when he isn't here, it just feels more enjoyable and natural to have him around. When he isn't then something is missing. He truly takes a part of me with him when he leaves. And, as he says, he leaves his heart with me when he leaves.

There are so many song lyrics and quotes from classic romance novels that I could quote right now to sortof some up what I am thinking. I will spare everyone because choosing only a few would be far too difficult.

I think, oddly enough, Alex is why I enjoy the Twilight series so much. It's funny because he thinks the series is crap. I think it is because he fears a mythological creature can make him look bad. That thought is hilarious to me because when I read the books I think to myself "awww" when Edward says something all romantic to Bella and then wonder if Alex would've done the same or better. ha. I'm a mushy emo mess, I know. I sound like a 13 yr old girl with a crush. I can't help it.

**sigh**

I could go on and on and attempt to explain this to everyone out there. But I don't think I will. It isn't worth it because I won't be able to articulate it accurately. And also, I could gush emoly about Alex for days. If I keep going now this blog will be record length. I will just leave you with this instead because it sums things up nicely. And yes, it is as close to accurate as I can be in one phrase....

Alex is my all.