The best part about this is that a few of the people this blog is about may actually read this....I guess it should make me hyper aware of what I write. But just an fyi - I'm totally going to be honest. Brace yourselves!
So I guess at the end of my first semester of Grad School things aren't quite as I thought they would be. I expected things to be different from what I expected, if that makes sense. You see, I love to make all of these plans and map out all of the possible outcomes to every response I can manage to think of that has a decent probability of happening and is related to the 'plan'. And then usually none of the options I had thought up happen. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother with the plans. I've decided it is just my way of not worrying and being prepared(I have a hx of overthinking, can you tell?). I have to say, it makes me very calm in a variety of situations. That's a bonus....anyways, I'm already straying from the topic.
So I came to Menomonie with this grand plan of getting through Grad School and finding my niche (that box can be checked!). Getting in and getting out was the plan. I have a time limit to this stuff. Bad idea, I know. I should come with a completely open mind and make the most of the Grad School experience. Not everyone is lucky enough to have one, and def not everyone gets to be part of an amazing program like Stout's. I'm one very blessed girl.
When I heard John's 2 year plan I was ecstatic. Two years - perfect. I can get things done in time to be settled somewhere when Alex gets here. Wonderful! Then life is complete, right? My answer was and still is, yes.
Basically my plan was all business and no pleasure. Just me and Morris wading through Grad School. That's all I needed. Get the best and most from what I am offered, academically.
Friends really weren't in the plan. Not at all actually. I had some walls up for such cases. And they worked pretty well actually. For awhile. I guess I came here with so many long distance relationships to juggle that I really did not want to make more for myself. Lets be honest, I am the poster child for meaningful long distance relationships. They suck in a lot of ways. And I really don't need more.
I am only going to be in the state of Wisconsin for Grad School. You better believe I am out of here after that. It's nothing against Wisconsin, it just isn't my scene. Even though it's a very pretty state, I do not intend on coming back after I graduate. I came here with no reason to come back. I plan on moving somewhere bigger. A suburb of a big city, that is. The twin cities perhaps, or maybe even St. Louis I am thinking at this point. I'm not bothered which, whatever works best for both Alex and myself. Bottom line is - whatever close friends I make here will turn into long distance ones really soon. ick.
It doesn't have to be all bad. When do I ever see something as all bad? The answer is never. I know at least one of my potential readers out there knows the back-story on that. To her I say this - you go girl! Way to know something others won't get and way to get a shoutout for it! For everyone else, the condensed version - I have this knack for turning everything bad into something good. My mom taught me that via reasons other than the obvious warm-fuzzy things you are probably thinking about now. Confused? Yeah fair enough, it's confusing for me too. Let's move on.
The good - I have actually met some people I am connecting with in a deeper, personal, potential close friend kinda way. That's way nice. I went through all 4 years of college without making any new lasting ones, and I tried then. Now here I am, telling myself that friends aren't my concern, and they are coming my way. And I am embracing it.
I must admit I was a bit leery at first. EVERYONE from all of the other cohorts seemed to be buzzing drama and warning me about keeping my guard up cuz people like to be clicky and mean. All I can think of is highschool drama on a more intellectual and competitive scale. So not me. Wasn't in highschool, isn't now. And I get it, I just choose to not be a part of it.
Long story short (cuz I know how super long I tend to make my blogs) - people have proved me wrong. It isn't that I didn't suspect there was genuinely good people here, I truly think everyone I have met is nice. It's just that I told myself I didn't need friends. I am probably overly content being a loner if I have Morris around, as sad as that is. BUT there are some great people that I have been hanging around recently that are sweethearts. And I could really look forward to getting close with them, if they continue to give me that chance of course :)
It's kinda nice to be meeting new friends. It's been since highschool that I have made multiple really close friends. And to those ladies I say - I love you my 6-pack! You could never be replaced and all of you will be in this kids wedding someday....we shall see who makes it to the isle first :)
Now that THAT shoutout is over I'd like to add in there that I have made some other lifelong friends along the way. But they are in their own category - My Camp Family. Ooooh and Troy!
To all of those amazingly fun people I am getting to know at Stout that may or may not be reading this at some point - thanks for keeping after me to hangout. You guys are awesome and I honestly look forward to many more memories ahead and creating close friendships. I promise I am open to it now so you best be careful, I am.....different to say the least, and I am not just referring to my sometimes 'out there' or (as I has told 4 times in one night by different drunk college guys) 'Lady GaGa' clothing choices. You'll see :) I look forward to sharing the Grad School adventure with all of you....and beyond. Assuming you still enjoy my company after getting to know me :P
So I guess at the end of my first semester of Grad School things aren't quite as I thought they would be. I expected things to be different from what I expected, if that makes sense. You see, I love to make all of these plans and map out all of the possible outcomes to every response I can manage to think of that has a decent probability of happening and is related to the 'plan'. And then usually none of the options I had thought up happen. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother with the plans. I've decided it is just my way of not worrying and being prepared(I have a hx of overthinking, can you tell?). I have to say, it makes me very calm in a variety of situations. That's a bonus....anyways, I'm already straying from the topic.
So I came to Menomonie with this grand plan of getting through Grad School and finding my niche (that box can be checked!). Getting in and getting out was the plan. I have a time limit to this stuff. Bad idea, I know. I should come with a completely open mind and make the most of the Grad School experience. Not everyone is lucky enough to have one, and def not everyone gets to be part of an amazing program like Stout's. I'm one very blessed girl.
When I heard John's 2 year plan I was ecstatic. Two years - perfect. I can get things done in time to be settled somewhere when Alex gets here. Wonderful! Then life is complete, right? My answer was and still is, yes.
Basically my plan was all business and no pleasure. Just me and Morris wading through Grad School. That's all I needed. Get the best and most from what I am offered, academically.
Friends really weren't in the plan. Not at all actually. I had some walls up for such cases. And they worked pretty well actually. For awhile. I guess I came here with so many long distance relationships to juggle that I really did not want to make more for myself. Lets be honest, I am the poster child for meaningful long distance relationships. They suck in a lot of ways. And I really don't need more.
I am only going to be in the state of Wisconsin for Grad School. You better believe I am out of here after that. It's nothing against Wisconsin, it just isn't my scene. Even though it's a very pretty state, I do not intend on coming back after I graduate. I came here with no reason to come back. I plan on moving somewhere bigger. A suburb of a big city, that is. The twin cities perhaps, or maybe even St. Louis I am thinking at this point. I'm not bothered which, whatever works best for both Alex and myself. Bottom line is - whatever close friends I make here will turn into long distance ones really soon. ick.
It doesn't have to be all bad. When do I ever see something as all bad? The answer is never. I know at least one of my potential readers out there knows the back-story on that. To her I say this - you go girl! Way to know something others won't get and way to get a shoutout for it! For everyone else, the condensed version - I have this knack for turning everything bad into something good. My mom taught me that via reasons other than the obvious warm-fuzzy things you are probably thinking about now. Confused? Yeah fair enough, it's confusing for me too. Let's move on.
The good - I have actually met some people I am connecting with in a deeper, personal, potential close friend kinda way. That's way nice. I went through all 4 years of college without making any new lasting ones, and I tried then. Now here I am, telling myself that friends aren't my concern, and they are coming my way. And I am embracing it.
I must admit I was a bit leery at first. EVERYONE from all of the other cohorts seemed to be buzzing drama and warning me about keeping my guard up cuz people like to be clicky and mean. All I can think of is highschool drama on a more intellectual and competitive scale. So not me. Wasn't in highschool, isn't now. And I get it, I just choose to not be a part of it.
Long story short (cuz I know how super long I tend to make my blogs) - people have proved me wrong. It isn't that I didn't suspect there was genuinely good people here, I truly think everyone I have met is nice. It's just that I told myself I didn't need friends. I am probably overly content being a loner if I have Morris around, as sad as that is. BUT there are some great people that I have been hanging around recently that are sweethearts. And I could really look forward to getting close with them, if they continue to give me that chance of course :)
It's kinda nice to be meeting new friends. It's been since highschool that I have made multiple really close friends. And to those ladies I say - I love you my 6-pack! You could never be replaced and all of you will be in this kids wedding someday....we shall see who makes it to the isle first :)
Now that THAT shoutout is over I'd like to add in there that I have made some other lifelong friends along the way. But they are in their own category - My Camp Family. Ooooh and Troy!
To all of those amazingly fun people I am getting to know at Stout that may or may not be reading this at some point - thanks for keeping after me to hangout. You guys are awesome and I honestly look forward to many more memories ahead and creating close friendships. I promise I am open to it now so you best be careful, I am.....different to say the least, and I am not just referring to my sometimes 'out there' or (as I has told 4 times in one night by different drunk college guys) 'Lady GaGa' clothing choices. You'll see :) I look forward to sharing the Grad School adventure with all of you....and beyond. Assuming you still enjoy my company after getting to know me :P
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