First of all, I have decided that I am going to add a photo to every blog entry, just for fun. So enjoy that. Secondly, my update is on how my big people job as a therapist/my internship. Hope that's ok.
As my caseload at work/internship continues to grow, I find myself getting more and more busy throughout the work day. Because I am limited on how many hours the ECA will pay me, I often find myself without enough time to properly plan my group therapy sessions. This leaves me to doing it outside of work time. I do not have a problem doing some of this because I know that as I accumulate materials, curriculum, and experience, it will become easier for me to plan group therapy quickly.
With the addition of added clients comes additional paperwork. Several of my clients are new to the ECA as so I am responsible for administering various evaluations and tests so that I can create treatment plans and recommendations. I do not have much experience in this so it takes me awhile to complete the write-ups, recommendations, and treatment plans. So far, other staff members have been very patient and supportive in helping me as much as they can in this process. However, with the environment being chaotic and everyone being busy, I do not get a lot of assistance in completing these documents.
Being that I am new to all of this, and the only intern in the building, it is difficult not to compare myself to other staff members, particularly the other therapists. I know this unreasonable of me, but occasionally I do find myself getting stressed out due to thoughts of self comparison. This has not been helpful to my stress level, the work I am doing, or to the clients I serve. This stress was even beginning to affect me outside of work. I was finding it difficult to leave work at work. I would worry about what I had done with clients or what I would be doing with them in my next sessions. I was not providing bad practice and I had not done anything wrong to be so concerned about. Upon reflection, I realized that it was all due to me holding myself to unrealistic standards.
Due to being surrounded by professionals that have their degree, license, and additional certificates or trainings, I was also holding myself to their same standards without realizing it. I was expecting too much of myself and putting too much pressure on what I was doing. In reality, I was and continue to do good work with my clients. I am putting in my best faith effort, doing no harm, following ethics codes, and maintaining sound boundaries while conducting therapy with my clients. I am not yet graduated and still have much to learn about adaptive what I have been taught at Stout to the adolescent residential setting. The work I am doing has been getting positive feedback by peers and superiors, and I am able to ask for help when I need it.
Since realizing all of this, I have begun to see things in a different perspective. I continue to keep my eyes open for all opportunities to learn, I seek out additional resources as often as possible, and I do not allow myself to compare the work I am doing to the work of my experienced co-workers. Additionally, I have began to use additional coping skills of my own to stay focused while at work and to leave work at work. Specifically, I have begun to utilize some relaxation and meditation techniques before and after work every day over the last week and a half.
The routine of my day now starts off with a brief 5 minute meditation to get myself centered and focused on the day and doing my best work. On the way to work I listen to a specific song and recite positive affirmations. Such things as “I am doing my best faith effort to help my clients as much as I can in the time I have them, with the resources available to me”, “I am still learning”, “I can only learn from, not expect myself to be, those professionals around me”, “nobody is expecting me to re-invent the wheel or cure my clients”, and “The choices my clients make are not a direct reflection of my capabilities as a therapist”. After work, I do an additional meditation exercise where I let go of all the loose ends from the day and stressful situations before I leave my office.
I have found this to be extremely helpful for my own stress level. I have been more relaxed and focused throughout the work day as a whole, increasing my ability to give my best to my clients. I no longer think of or worry about my clients outside of work. I also am sleeping better and no longer dream about work or my clients. I am not getting overwhelmed with paperwork or feeling pressure to perform at the level of my co-workers. I intend on continuing this practice and additionally exploring my other coping skills further to refine them for maximum assistance for me in my practice.
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